Christchurch, NZ — In a move that has stunned academia and delighted absolutely everyone else, a dog named Daisy has been appointed the first-ever canine researcher at the Christchurch Health and Development Study (CHDS).
Daisy, a Shetland Sheepdog with a strong work ethic and an even stronger opinion on lunchtime, reportedly impressed the selection panel with her ability to sit patiently through long meetings, wag thoughtfully during complex discussions, and detect snacks from a distance of 200 metres.
“Daisy brings a unique interdisciplinary approach,” said a CHDS spokesperson. “She specialises in morale boosting, stress reduction, and rigorous peer review of dropped sandwiches.”
Her current research interests include the long-term effects of pats on productivity, correlations between coffee consumption and walk frequency, and whether squeaky toys improve cognitive outcomes (early results: yes).
Colleagues say Daisy has already improved workplace culture. “She doesn’t interrupt,” noted one researcher. “Unless someone opens a bag of chips.”
Daisy declined to comment, but was last seen asleep under a desk, dreaming — experts believe — of tenure.